


The Last Night

by Bendy_CA



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Late Night Conversations, Mentioned Number Five | The Boy, Pre-Canon, Sad Ending, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21738091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bendy_CA/pseuds/Bendy_CA
Summary: Four years after Five's disappearance, Vanya has her first and last conversation with Ben.For the TUA Secret Santa 2019.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Ben Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves (mentioned), Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves (mentioned)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 53





	The Last Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cherriesareneat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherriesareneat/gifts).



> Here's a (not technically late) secret-santa-klaus present for @nobody-wants-ice-cream. Hope you enjoy!  
> Be warned, this is sad!

It's dark out and she's tired, but Vanya in the kitchen making Number Five's snack, like always.

She's finishing up, drying the knife with a towel and setting it back in its place. She takes her plate and heads back upstairs. It's the same as yesterday and the day before, a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich, his favorite. She sets it down by the main entrance door and switches on the last of the lights in the house. 

She's done this every night for the last four years. Two hours after lights out, thirty minutes after Dad turned in, and Vanya made Five his snack and left all the lights on for him. She's supposed to be in bed, those are the rules. They aren't allowed to be out of bed, but Vanya sneaks out anyway. She didn't get caught, she never has. Either no one noticed or cared to say anything: why would they? She doesn't matter, and what she's doing doesn't harm them.

Vanya knows it's childish. She's almost eighteen, almost an adult, and she's still performing this ridiculous nightly ritual. Her hope for Five's return diminished every day. It was a waste of time, energy, and food. She can't rationalize it like she used to, with the fear Five would leave again without the lights on. But, anymore, she couldn't sleep without it. It is almost for Vanya now, not Five.

Vanya wanders around the house, turning on as many lights as she can. She couldn't stop thinking of Five.

If he was still out there, would he be the person she knew? If he is alive, _could_ he still be the Five she lost? The one who loved peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches and was still secretly afraid of the dark. If Five returned home, would he still be thirteen? Sixteen, like the rest of them?

She switches on every hall light, the lights in the library, and the lights in the parlor.

Number Five seemed to be nothing more than "ifs" now. Improbable predictions of what might be his future. His current future was a life unlived. Nothing more than photos in frames, painted portraits, and an empty, dusty bedroom. Forever thirteen with his smug smile. A memory she knew her brother and sister also longed to forget.

Vanya checks around the house one last time. She returns to the hallway to her bedroom. She looks at the bedroom doors around the hall. She longs to turn on the lights in her siblings' rooms. She wonders if any of her siblings were awake, when she hears a thud.

It came from Ben's room. It was soft, he probably fell off his bed. Vanya could ignore it but, then she hears a cry of pain, then crying.

She quickly steps to Ben's door and gives a quiet knock on it. The crying continues.

She knocks again, a bit louder this time. The crying morphs into pained sobs.

Vanya opens the door, just a crack. The room is dark, but the curtains are open, so she can see from the lights of the city and the pale moon.

Ben is alone, lying on the floor, holding himself in pain. He's clutching his belly, legs curled in a fetal position. He's next to his bed, sheets tangled around his feet, and Vanya knew he made the noise landing in that position. His face is twisted in agony, tears running down his cheeks. He almost looks like a kid again.

She moves to stand in the doorway, but he doesn't notice her.

"Ben?" she asks softly. He tilts head up at her slightly. He stares at her, and Vanya can't tell if he's surprised or confused.

"Vanya?" he says through half-sobs and sniffles. "Why're you up?" 

"I made a snack," Vanya says, not lying to him. "Do you need help up?"

Ben nods, and Vanya hates how ashamed he looks. She closes the door and goes to him, bending down next to him. He's stopped crying, but Vanya can see his still in terrible pain. She's as gentle as she can be as she helps him sit up. She moves his arm around her, and he hisses as she helps him stand. He's heavier than she is, it's difficult to hold his weight. She tries to be careful, but he still yelps when she sets him on the bed. He returns to a fetal position as she put his blanket on him. He's stopped crying, but he's softly whimpering now. She sits next to him on the bed.

Vanya didn't know what to do, but she wanted to help.

"Are you okay?" she asks, and it makes her face feel hot. It was a stupid question to ask.

"Stomachache," Ben says, and she knows what it means that creature in his abdomen was acting up. She doesn't know what to call it. Dad calls them "eldritch beings." The public calls it "The Horror." Ben never calls it anything, he never talks about it if he can help it.

"Can I stay?" she asks him. He nods. He's starts crying again, and Vanya isn't sure about what do.

"Are you going to throw up?" She asks. He had done that once or twice, during training.

"No," Ben nearly chokes out. "I haven't done that since we were eleven."

There's an awkward silence after that. Vanya tries again.

"Where's Klaus?"

Klaus had always the allayer of their siblings. When they were little, everyone went to him for comfort. She remembers him reaching out to hug her, just at the site of her lip quivering, or how he would make her laugh when she looked down.

He hadn't done that for her since they were little, but she saw him comfort the others as they got older. He'd pat Diego on the back, or wrap Allison in a hug. Then Five left, and everything got worse. She didn't see Klaus comfort anyone anymore, but sometimes she could hear his muffled voice from Ben's room, when she suspected Ben was having a stomachache.

"Out," Ben says.

Klaus was always gone. When he wasn't on a mission, he was at a party or with friends. Sometimes he would be gone for days on end, withlit a trace. No one ever talks about it, but they all knew what he was doing. Drinking and smoking and getting high and so much worse. She feels like an idiot for even thinking he would be home. She should know better now.

Vanya keeps trying to help. She hates how useless she feels.

"Is there anything I can do to help? I could get my electric blanket or a hot water bottle? There might be medicine in-"

"No," Ben interrupts, his voice sounds so grim now. "There isn't."

She looks away from him, at the wall, "What does Klaus do to help you?"

"Distracts me," he groans her.

"Could we talk for a little while?"

"Okay."

Vanya doesn't know what to say to him now. 

She and Ben were friends, once. Ben used to spend time with her, when Five was around, the three were inseparable.

"Are you reading anything?" she asks.

"East of Eden," he tells her, gritting his teeth, he clarifies, "Steinbeck."

For a long time, it was Five, Six, and Seven. They played and spent time together and quietly read together. She knew she wasn't a genius like the two of them, but she liked listening to the two of them debate. It was nice to feel apart of something. Then Five was gone, and Ben stopped spending time with her. 

"Is it good?"

Ben was always eager to please Dad. Dad always isolated her from her superpowered siblings, and after Five left, Ben joined their siblings. The rest of her siblings pushed her away as Dad wanted, and Ben did too. Now Vanya has nobody.

"It's fine," he tell her. His squeezes his eyes shut, trying to ignore the pain, "Lots of biblical stuff."

She realized later Five was the only thing that connected her and Ben. They weren't best friends, they were friends through Five. She tried to reach out to him, but he went to Klaus and Vanya went to her violin. And that's how their life is now.

"I miss Number Five." she murmurs, out of nowhere. Ben looks at her for a long time, and she can't tell what it means. The pain in his face nearly disappears.

"Me too," he says. He tries to sit up, but winces and goes back to laying down. She joins him.

They lay there for a while, side by side, as brother and sister. It's almost peaceful for Vanya. Ben's pains seem to be ceasing. She stares at the ceiling.

"What do you think happened to him?" she asks.

"You were there," he says, "He and dad were always fighting. He ran out and never came back."

"I know but. Do you think he did it?"

"Time-traveled?"

She nods. Ben looks at her. Vanya looks at him. He shakes his head.

"Okay," she says, trying nit to sound upset. If Ben thought that, then it was probably right.

"I think he died," he explains, "I don't want to, but I think whatever he did, it killed him."

A lump caught in her throat. Her voice cracks as she asks, "Why do you think that?"

"Just a feeling."

She's quiet for a while. Ben's belief that he's dead made it feel too real. She knew it was stupid, to still have that smidge of hope for his return. Ben gives her a pitying look. He probably feels bad for her, poor ordinary Number Seven, who still dreams her favorite brother will come home.

Ben breaks their silence.

"Even if he survived," he says, "It probably messed him up. like Dad said."

Vanya sighs, "I just hope he was happy. At least for a moment."

"I'm sure he was, V," Ben lies to her. She almost appreciates it.

Ben changes the subject. 

"Klaus and I aren't speaking," he tells her.

"What?"

"We had a fight," he explains, "We're civil, but we don't actually talk. Not like we used to." 

"Why?"

"I shouldn't say, but," he sighs, and confesses, "He's getting worse. And keeps hanging out with this girl. They might be dating, I don't know. But he's going with her friends to these adult clubs, and I don't know what to do."

Vanya thinks she should say something, but she holds her tongue. He covers his face with his hands and continues, "At least when he at high school parties, it was kids our age with weed and booze. And even the college parties, it was just coke. Now it's adult clubs with all these pills. And," he throws up his hands in exasperation. "He's taking this stuff before missions!"

"I'm sorry," is all Vanya could come up with in response. They all knew Klaus was getting worse, but no one did anything.

"I'm scared, Vanya," Ben admits, "He used to be able to limit himself, but now he can't even stay sober for a mission. He nearly got himself killed last month, and when I try to talk to him, he hates me!"

"I'm really sorry," she repeats.

"It's not your fault, it's just," Ben hisses, and holds his tummy again. The things are moving, "I can't be his keeper anymore. I have my own life. I want my own life outside of this place. I want to go to have my own apartment and study literature and philosophy, I even filled out an application to that liberal arts college and-"

Vanya hugs him.

It's awkward and uncomfortable. He still laying down and she's leaning over him, minding his stomachache. His arm is at a weird angle, and Ben can't seem to really hug her back.

She lets go. and Ben asks, "Vanya, can you promise me you won't tell anyone anything? Not Dad or Pogo, or even Mom, about what I told you?"

And Vanya realizes, for the first time in her life, she truly felt close to Ben. She thinks maybe they did have a connect, and maybe once he leaves, she could go with him. She doesn't know if she wants to go to college, but she'd like to be part of Ben's life. She could become a professional violinist, he could read every book in the public library. They could finally be real siblings together.

Maybe she would be happy.

She nods, "I won't. I promise."

His stomach makes a noise, and he writhing in pain again. 

"The-"

"Yeah." he groans. He lets out long, sharp breathes until the pain eases.

"What does it feel like," Vanya asks after Ben looks better.

"You know when you get really bad cramps and you can't move?"

She nods.

"It's like that, while your stomach's churning a thousand miles a minute. But then, it feels like it's isn't really you, but it is?" he cringes at his words, "That doesn't make sense."

"It does," she says, "Sort of."

Ben laughs at that. Vanya smiles.

"This is almost nice," she says. "We haven't talked like before. Not even before Five left."

"Yeah," he says. Ben is so honest and seems to trust her, and Vanya wants to be honest with him.

"I can tell you something?" she asks, excitedly. He smiles at her.

"Yeah?"

"I want to be a superhero," she says, a weight off her chest. "Like you guys."

He frowns, and it's if the last hour disappeared, "You're still on that?"

She tries to explain, "I just wish I could be apart of the academy too."

"No, you don't."

"I know it's scary but the training and the mission would be worth I could just be part of you. If I could feel like I was in this family-"

"Stop," he says, he's getting angry at her. She keeps going,

"To ctually get to be with you guys, not just near you. I could help and we could really be brothers and sisters and-" 

"Stop!" Ben nearly yells. She does, and she shrinks like a flower. She's never seen him like this. "You don't want to be a superhero. You don't want powers."

"Ben..." she starts, but nothing else comes out.

"You get to be a person, Vanya" he says, "You don't know how lucky you are. You don't almost die every day. You have no idea what it's like to not feel out of control. To not know what your powers will do to people."

She wants to yell back at him, to scream at him. He doesn't understand her, he never could. Every one of their siblings loved him. He was important to the team. He doesn't get what it's like to not have anyone know you exist. To be completely useless, and have everyone in your life be special but you. She just wants to be noticed, by their family, by their father. To be special, to be loved. She knows it's difficult for all of them, but at least they belong somewhere. Vanya doesn't belong anywhere.

Instead, she just whispers, "I'm sorry, Ben."

"Please go," he says, and throws his covers over his face, "Please."

"Okay." 

She gets out of the bed, leaves the room, closes the door, goes to her room, and goes to sleep.

The next day, Ben is dead.

That night, Vanya never goes to the kitchen, and the lights stay off.

**Author's Note:**

> Unless canon proves otherwise, this is what made Ben so upset when reading Vanya's book.
> 
> To quote George Lucas, "I may have gone too far in a few places." This became way sadder than I wanted it to be.
> 
> Well, Happy Holidays!


End file.
